It's Okay to Get Down

As a male, I an guilty of trying to be the strong one.  I try to keep myself from falling apart when things seem to be gloom.  I put on a mask to try and hide the dread I am feeling.  The deep fear that this may be that moment that I have hoped would never come.  To Curt and Brittany, I am full of hope and confident that all will be fine.  On the inside, I am trembling with fear.  I trust that God will be with Curt, but I feel the helplessness that all fathers feel when their child is in danger or pain and they can do nothing to relieve it. I look for the opportunity to slip away and try to deal with this bombarding of emotions.  I find myself in the hospital's chapel.  There I pray and release the hidden pain.  I know that many dads that read this can empathize.  After I have poured out my heartache, I put on my mask and return to my family that needs me to be strong.  Truth be known, it is all a fraud.  I feel like such a fake sometimes.  I have learned that I can't do this alone, I need God to help me.  I can assure you of this, there is no way I could have made it this far without His help.  One of the things that I have learned from Curt is that no matter what, I should not blame God for any of the trials that we endure.  I was once told That God never puts more on us than we can endure with His help.